I would be fine if you were gay. I would even be alright if you proclaimed you were transexual. If you suddenly announced that you were moving to Tahiti to be a panhandler with your Hell's Angel girlfriend, I would not stutter in surprise.
But pleaseto be keeping your UNEXPECTED BUSH SUPPORTER IS UNEXPECTED thoughts to yourself. They will cause me to walk into the wall.
All my love,
Your newly concussed sister
- Mood:
shocked
I did not expect to be told that I was obviously crazy, or lying, or both, and that I should be ashamed for shunning the "spirit". That same Spirit who possessed you several times, and apparently knows everything that I know, only better.
As convincing as your derogatory rants and incoherent babbling were, I'm afraid I'm going to have to vote no on letting you into my program. No matter how much you insist that "of course light controls time, otherwise, why would we use sundials?", it will not change the fact that you are immature.
Take a chill pill, and relax. Debate does not mean scream insults at the other person. Come back to college when you can accept that.
All my love,
Fred
P.S.- We tell time with sundials because the sun moves, and casts shadows in different places, depending on what time of day it is, darling. Not because the light is somehow changing time. I don't even know how that would work.
- Location:The Mystery Spot, apparently
- Mood:
confused
It distresses me that I cannot find fic for this movie. You can't leave me hanging here! I have a genuine, medical NEED for something cute and fluffy (and possibly involving recreational drug use/talking about the Horrors Of The Past, I am not picky). I need something to offset the pain of this movie's end.
I also would maybe like to see Bree/Toby fic. LOOK, I NEVER CLAIMED I WAS STABLE, OKAY?
This is a Mercedes S-Class 550 Sedan, and it is a very nice car. Very, very nice. It starts at about $91,225. That's the same price as this house, right here.
It's a very nice car. A very nice car that I just tried to carjack outside a Barnes and Noble.
(I'm so very sorry sir. Your car is beautiful, and I apologize that I'm car-illiterate and mistook it for my piece-of-crap Audi. Please don't press charges - I wouldn't last long in prison, for I have no upper body strength and the confidence of a spooked armadillo.)
- Mood:
ditzy
Oh shit. I have to drive in this ridiculousness tomorrow.
***
It was my birthday party today. I got pretty pretty presents. One was a St. Jude pendant that is the exact same length as my cross, so I am going to the mall tomorrow to get my cross chain shortened.
I also got a t-shirt that says "Haikus are easy / But sometimes don't make much sense / Hippopotamus". I had to explain to everyone what a haiku was, which was tragic and more ridiculous than the snow (SNOW!), because seriously? You don't know what a haiku is? ...Seriously?
AND I got a bag that says "Leave now, before I shed my human skin and eat you." It is very appropriate, and I'm going to take it everywhere.
***
I applied for an internship at my Daddy's company. My online password is nepotism, and they will pay me nineteen dollars an hour if I get it. This is exciting.
Less exciting was the realization that after I get done SELLING MY SOUL for good grades, I will have to work forty-hour-work-weeks all summer, so that I can afford to go to Peru next summer, and grad school after that.
Damn you, real life. Quit messing with my pool time.
- Location:the middle of a blizzard
- Mood:
devious
Okay, so I don't feel sick. Or dead. But I am bizarrely tired (not so bizarrely - I only slept like six hours last night and the night before) and I have sporadic torrents of blood rushing from my nose and. Um. My feet are turning yellow.
What kind of retarded disease would that be? Who even knows. But obviously, the only cure is comfort ice cream and tv.
If I do end up dieing, you're all getting letters from justincaseidie.com, and I regret nothing.
- Mood:
sick
What?
- Location:Meatlocker or Sauna?
- Mood:
amused
So, an update in the life of me, handily bullet pointed for your convienence:
- While I had previously assumed Computer Sciences would be complicated and fly right over my head, like all my other classes this semester, it is actually tons of fun. HTML makes my heart beat a little faster. Maybe I should change my career path somewhat - I'll be an alien-crime-fighting, flute-playing, literary genius Astrobiologist/Physicist who uses MATH to solve PROBLEMS for the FBI, can sharpshoot and write computer programs. That's a totally legitimate career path, right?
- I had also assumed Comparative Vertebrate Anatomy would be complicated and fly right over my head, but it turns out that not only is that true, but it spontaneously spouted a rocket pack that utalizes anti-matter to reach speed-of-light velocity and has already set up an advanced civilization of eukaryotes on Gliese 581 d. An advanced civilization called "Let's Screw Coco's GPA".
- On the upside, we dissected the shit out of some shit in the very first lab, which almost makes up for speaking entirely in words I don't know.
- The Internet in the dorm hates us. And by us, I mean me, and by hates, I mean Internet totally gave "Let's Screw Coco's GPA" H-bombs.
- My nose keeps randomly spurting blood. It's as if my cranial cavity decided "DANGER DANGER MUST EVACUATE ALL BLOOD STAT".
- OH SHI- I broke the pattern. Um um um. I should finish up with two good things about my life and then go watch Fringe with the Roommate to make up for it.
- Speaking of the Roommate, I recently found out she has a LJ too! But she hasn't mentioned me yet, at all. You should go harrass her about it at
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
noblepeg. - I have an autographed picture of Chad Micheal Murray, and he doesn't even look completely like a hooker. Just mostly like one.
- Location:It's too cold to be Hell...
- Mood:
content - Music:The ticking of the demon clock
Twilight, stream-of-conciousness, word spew.
Because I happen to be really, really fond of Jacob, and if you take Twilight seriously (which I try not to do more than once a week), he really got kicked in the ass.
Actually, it's been said before, but I think the Twilight series would be a fascinatining series if told from a more serious point-of view. I love me some mindless romance, but I also love anti-heros and angst and fucked-up horror stories. I wish we'd gotten that from Twilight instead.
Anyway, here you go. First person, Jacob angst. Be warned.
( It's not fair. It's never fair. )
- Location:Sitting Under the Bed
- Mood:
distressed - Music:Listening to the Parents Complain
Author: Reilly Tross
Fandom: Twilight
Summary: Bella loves Edward. She’s loved him since day one.
Word Count: 1,381
Warnings: Very dark. Domestic violence. AU as of Breaking Dawn. Hell, AU as of forever.
Author's Notes: Yes, I read Twilight. You know how sometimes, you open your fridge and look at all the ingrediants to make a three course steak dinner, and then you go out and get a hamburger from McDonalds, because yes, it's horrible for you and yes, it kind of destroys your soul, but dammit, sometimes you can't put in the brain power to make dinner? Reading Twilight was like that. I love it the same way I love McDonalds.
( Bella loves Edward. She's loved him since day one. )
Fact one: I am physically incapable to watching people on TV being embarrassed. I have an embarrassment squick. Sometimes, I even have to turn off the news because I feel sympathy!humiliation for the idiots being arrested. I've never been able to finish Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, because Harry was acting like a retard and it made me embarrassed for him. THEREFORE,
Fact two: I miss out on a lot of TV that I would like to watch but cannot. Like House, or One Tree Hill (shut up, I have a horrible crush on CMM), or Dexter, or hell. If I could get through an episode of my little sister's "Yo Gabba Gabba" without cringing or having to leave the room, I'd be a happy woman. HOWEVER,
Fact three: I do watch Supernatural. I can watch Sam and Dean and Ruby and not feel desperate to REACH THROUGH THE SCREEN AND SHAKE THEM UNTIL THEY STOP BEING STUPID for the simple reason that the Roommate is far more obsessed than I, and forces me to sit down and watch.
I don't know why that makes it easier to bear. Something about having my six-page Genetics essay held ransom in front of the shredder makes my anxiety for fictional characters less important, I suppose.
Now if only the Roommate was as dedicated to watching all the other shows I can't watch.
ETA: Roommate is now no longer dedicated to Supernatural. Why, Roommate, why? I have a desperate NEED to know what is going on with those crazy characters.
- Location:Somewhere North of the Arctic Circle
- Mood:
bored - Music:Something in Your Mouth, Nickelback
AriaMuse (8:07:01 PM): GUESS what you want to do tonight
TheStobo (8:07:19 PM): ...If you say homework I'll cry.
AriaMuse (8:07:23 PM): no
AriaMuse (8:07:29 PM): you know you want it
TheStobo (8:07:31 PM): I want to watch Supernatural.
AriaMuse (8:07:31 PM): bad.
AriaMuse (8:07:46 PM): yes...but there's something you want to do with that. Just for us....because you can.
TheStobo (8:08:02 PM): ...Just for us? Is it washing dishes?
AriaMuse (8:08:04 PM): and it's tech. the last day of freedomishness.
TheStobo (8:08:05 PM): Or cleaning?
AriaMuse (8:08:05 PM): NO
AriaMuse (8:08:13 PM): it can create dishes....kinda
TheStobo (8:08:17 PM): ...Getting soda?
TheStobo (8:08:20 PM): I'm so lost.
AriaMuse (8:08:30 PM): you will want to get soda with this
AriaMuse (8:08:44 PM): _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
TheStobo (8:08:55 PM): AHHH HANGMAN BANE OF MY EXISTANCE
She made me play anyway.
AriaMuse (8:11:02 PM): C _ _ _ e s e F _ _ _
AriaMuse (8:11:13 PM): YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT
AriaMuse (8:11:16 PM): YOU CAN FEEL IT
AriaMuse (8:11:20 PM): ITS IN YOUR MOUTH
AriaMuse (8:11:24 PM): ORAL SEX
TheStobo (8:11:31 PM): DO NOT WANT
AriaMuse (8:11:35 PM): I WANT IT
AriaMuse (8:11:47 PM): not ORAL sex...keep going you're still alive...
TheStobo (8:11:48 PM): OMG WHY ARE ALL OUR CONVERSATIONS TRAUMATIZING
AriaMuse (8:11:51 PM): dunno
AriaMuse (8:12:01 PM): C _ _ _ e s e F _ _ _
AriaMuse (8:12:38 PM): umm.. I dont' know a letter that takes that long to type.
TheStobo (8:12:45 PM): D, I, E. E, M, I, L, I, E.
TheStobo (8:13:48 PM): Chinese! Ha!
AriaMuse (8:13:51 PM): YEAH
AriaMuse (8:13:59 PM): Chinese what?
TheStobo (8:14:07 PM): Hahahaha, I wiiiiiiiiiiin!
AriaMuse (8:14:08 PM): Not chinese style oral sex...I can tell you that much
TheStobo (8:14:11 PM): food.
AriaMuse (8:14:13 PM): yes.
TheStobo (8:14:15 PM): >.<
TheStobo (8:14:19 PM): Your mind, it kills.
AriaMuse (8:14:22 PM): congratulations...you may pass go and collect your chinese.
TheStobo (8:15:12 PM): You know what, I think the answer to hangman games should always be velociraptor
She is now, as we speak, attempting to traumatize me into buying her Chinese food by playing horrific videos of people singing songs about my name. Whyyyyyyy T_T?
- Location:The Dorm Of Hell
- Mood:
uncomfortable - Music:The Carolyn Song
I am, however, posting ridiculous pictures of me and my friends being ridiculous during our Halloween party. We dressed up as the Cullens. Notice how Bella is the only one not wearing black. I expected it of Rosalie (who is not pictured with blonde hair. Oops?), but I'm rather ashamed at Alice. It was a somber wedding, after which Edward cheated on Bella with every single girl in our all-girls dorm, including his sisters (adoptive sisters, which makes it okay), and Bella ran off to Vegas with Jesus and Flava Flav.
Don't judge us, okay?
And yes, we were wearing sparkle face paint. Come on, like we could leave that out? And I've decided that Edward's suit is the comfiest thing I have ever purchased ever, and I'm never taking it off. The best part, of course, was that all four outfits? Didn't cost us more than eighty dollars, I swear. Wedding rings and all.
Happily, tonight was my first date in months. Less happily, it was with my seventy-year-old grandfather. Le sigh.
Ah well, I had fun. Ate waaaaay too much steak though.
- Mood:
disappointed
But mostly, I just hate Missouri because it's so damn hot in the summer.
-is fucking melting-
- Mood:
irate
Dear God,
I think I've finally figured out Your game. You're testing us. You throw all this crap at us to try to break our spirits.
Well, it won't work with me. I promise I am more stubborn than You are. You will not win this time.
Just a head's up from Your favorite atheist,
Me
- Mood:
determined
So, why is it that I am more than ready to put this place behind me, and yet they are sad to see me go? Did I bring something vital to their lives that I haven't noticed? Are they getting tax breaks for putting up with me? Am I just that good of a conversationalist?
Doubtful.
After much deliberation, I decided that just maybe, Germany enjoys torturing me. My pain is amusing for the people I surround myself with (this is nothing new) (also, end of the sentence preposition there. I need to watch that).
Because I don't have anything more fascinating to do, I believe I'll make a list of all the reasons why Germany hates me.
- Germany has adopted the German language, which by its very nature causes me pain. You just enjoy your time, thirty-letter-long words, and you as well, convoulted word order, and especially you, sentences that can go on for paragraphs without a verb in sight. When I take over, I will choke on my glee as I demolish you. (See Mark Twain's brillaint essay - The Awful German Language)
- I've injured myself twice - one twisted foot, and one fall down two flights of stairs. I've gotten horribly sick three times and had to rely heavily on medication every single time. In one year. I don't think I've been this unhealthy in my entire life combined. (Does that sentence even make sense? I blame the meds)
- My laptop has broken. Three times. Well, alright, that's unfair. The third time it was the power cable that died, and I probably shouldn't have left it on the windowsill to get rained on. But still.
- The weather is horribly unpredictable. Forty degrees and rainy one day, eighty and full sun the next. Muggy and foggy in the morning, with no respite from the wind in the afternoon. We got like, four flakes of snow this winter. And that was in October.
- Everyone is unnaturally kind. Everyone offers to help me with my German or asks me if I'm alright and strangers smile at me on the bus! It's just weird. Stop it!
- I dislike Euros. Coins are for amounts less than a dollar. Bills are for amounts more than a dollar. I don't care what you have to say in your defense.
- The computer keyboards are even different! Argh! How am I supposed to type like this? Stop cramping my style!
...I'm considering LJ-cutting this. But I don't want to bother thinking up a witty tagline, so I'm not gunna.
- Mood:
cranky
Title: Intimidation
Author:
coconutfred (that's me, just in case you forgot)
Summary: Hell, this doesn’t really deserve one. It’s just sort of...word spew. Enjoy.
Copyright: Cassandra (yes, that is her name) will probably be used in another story sometime later-ish. Maybe not. Until then, if you really want to, use away. I don’t care. Just send over the link.
( I'm going to tell you a story. My story. You're going to listen because I want to tell it, and if you don't act interested, I will come through this computer screen, rip our your intestines and feed them to you. And afterwards, I will still make you listen to the story. )
- Mood:
creative
So, Moms. Arguably the best things to ever happen to the human race, right up there with coffee and high speed internet. Books are dedicated to them; they have an entire day dedicated to them; and even God bows to their awesomeness, bestowing them with such supernatural powers like guilt-tripping-without-saying-a-word as well as curing-all-childhood-pains-with-a-kiss and many others. And, as with most beloved things, they are oft compared with other beloved things (and some not-so-beloved things, although always with good intentions), which results in a great many metaphors.
If you have known me for any length of time, you will know that I adore metaphors, almost to the point of religion.
- Mood:
contemplative
Not that that is something I should be proud of or anything.
A lot has happened. I mean, like, a lot. I got over my crush on my ex-boyfriend, which was good because I was disgusting myself with how pathetic I was. I also got to go to Germany for a year! Yay! So yea...visiting relatives and going to German school. It's awesomely lax in security. Plus we get recess again, how cool is that? Ah, recess, how much I missed ye.
And, hmm. What else. I kind of got to chapter six in my novel before I...gave up. Well. In everything but name. Supposedly I am waiting for inspiration. Really, I just have issues with finishing things if people don't get on my ass about them.
In other news, it's NEW YEARS EVE! Whee! I love this time of year. We got to celebrate the special-tastic German way this year, which means we invited over an assload of people to watch a twenty minute short film (in English, which is good, because I still can't speak German) and set off fireworks. And it snowed. I love snow! It's so fun!
Plus people missed me a lot and sent me tons of shit for Christmas this year. Hahaha, I think I need to leave for long periods of time more often.
Other than that, I don't really know. I kind of lost the fanfiction scene, although you wouldn't know that I was even in that because I don't believe I've ever posted fanfiction here. That'll have to be rectified. But yea. I used to be exclusively Harry Potter, but after the movies stole my soul and kicked me in the ass, I gave it up. And I wrote one (1) piece of Covenant fanfiction which was more me fangirling obsessively about Caleb than actual story.
But then I met the X-Men fandom and doodled out some random Rogue fanfictions. Like, three of them. And I don't even like her. >->
And ummm...I have a cold. Yea, I have nothing else to talk about. So....yup. Happy New Years.
- Location:Germany!
- Mood:
bouncy - Music:Some Random Rock Song My Cousin Is Playing
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