Dear my dearest, darling little brother,

I would be fine if you were gay.  I would even be alright if you proclaimed you were transexual.  If you suddenly announced that you were moving to Tahiti to be a panhandler with your Hell's Angel girlfriend, I would not stutter in surprise.

But pleaseto be keeping your UNEXPECTED BUSH SUPPORTER IS UNEXPECTED thoughts to yourself.  They will cause me to walk into the wall.

All my love, 
Your newly concussed sister