SO, the Roommate is ill.  Bronchitus and some sort of infection - I swear, she doesn't do anything by halves.  Anyway, because I have to interpret all the oddities of my life as disease (Once, when I was like, seven, I decided that I was actually a split personality and my alter ego was anorexic.  I guess because I wasn't hungry?  idek), I've decided that her sickness clearly means that I am dieing.

Okay, so I don't feel sick.  Or dead.  But I am bizarrely tired (not so bizarrely - I only slept like six hours last night and the night before) and I have sporadic torrents of blood rushing from my nose and.  Um.  My feet are turning yellow.  

What kind of retarded disease would that be?  Who even knows.  But obviously, the only cure is comfort ice cream and tv.

If I do end up dieing, you're all getting letters from justincaseidie.com, and I regret nothing. 

 The Roommate stole my textbook, and is now yelling at me for not studying.

What?

Seriously, I am totally more interesting that any cop drama or soap opera or reality "watch idiots be idiotic" show.  And if I'm not, I could totally lie my ass off to millions of people and not lose a wink of sleep.  Just FYI Hollywood producers.

So, an update in the life of me, handily bullet pointed for your convienence:

• While I had previously assumed Computer Sciences would be complicated and fly right over my head, like all my other classes this semester, it is actually tons of fun.  HTML makes my heart beat a little faster.  Maybe I should change my career path somewhat - I'll be an alien-crime-fighting, flute-playing, literary genius Astrobiologist/Physicist who uses MATH to solve PROBLEMS for the FBI, can sharpshoot and write computer programs.  That's a totally legitimate career path, right?  
• I had also assumed Comparative Vertebrate Anatomy would be complicated and fly right over my head, but it turns out that not only is that true, but it spontaneously spouted a rocket pack that utalizes anti-matter to reach speed-of-light velocity and has already set up an advanced civilization of eukaryotes on Gliese 581 d.  An advanced civilization called "Let's Screw Coco's GPA".  
• On the upside, we dissected the shit out of some shit in the very first lab, which almost makes up for speaking entirely in words I don't know.
• The Internet in the dorm hates us.  And by us, I mean me, and by hates, I mean Internet totally gave "Let's Screw Coco's GPA" H-bombs.
• My nose keeps randomly spurting blood.  It's as if my cranial cavity decided "DANGER DANGER MUST EVACUATE ALL BLOOD STAT".  
• OH SHI- I broke the pattern.  Um um um.  I should finish up  with two good things about my life and then go watch Fringe with the Roommate to make up for it.
• Speaking of the Roommate, I recently found out she has a LJ too!  But she hasn't mentioned me yet, at all.  You should go harrass her about it at noblepeg.
• I have an autographed picture of Chad Micheal Murray, and he doesn't even look completely like a hooker.  Just mostly like one.
   

So.  It's facts-you-never-wanted-to-know-about-me time!  Aren't you excited?

Fact one: I am physically incapable to watching people on TV being embarrassed.  I have an embarrassment squick.  Sometimes, I even have to turn off the news because I feel sympathy!humiliation for the idiots being arrested.  I've never been able to finish Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, because Harry was acting like a retard and it made me embarrassed for him.  THEREFORE,

Fact two: I miss out on a lot of TV that I would like to watch but cannot.  Like House, or One Tree Hill (shut up, I have a horrible crush on CMM), or Dexter, or hell.  If I could get through an episode of my little sister's "Yo Gabba Gabba" without cringing or having to leave the room, I'd be a happy woman.  HOWEVER, 

Fact three: I do watch Supernatural.  I can watch Sam and Dean and Ruby and not feel desperate to REACH THROUGH THE SCREEN AND SHAKE THEM UNTIL THEY STOP BEING STUPID for the simple reason that the Roommate is far more obsessed than I, and forces me to sit down and watch.  

I don't know why that makes it easier to bear.  Something about having my six-page Genetics essay held ransom in front of the shredder makes my anxiety for fictional characters less important, I suppose.  

Now if only the Roommate was as dedicated to watching all the other shows I can't watch.

ETA: Roommate is now no longer dedicated to Supernatural.  Why, Roommate, why?  I have a desperate NEED to know what is going on with those crazy characters.  

I think I should go through my chat logs and find proof of this.  

AriaMuse (8:07:01 PM): GUESS what you want to do tonight
TheStobo (8:07:19 PM): ...If you say homework I'll cry.
AriaMuse (8:07:23 PM): no
AriaMuse (8:07:29 PM): you know you want it
TheStobo (8:07:31 PM): I want to watch Supernatural.
AriaMuse (8:07:31 PM): bad.
AriaMuse (8:07:46 PM): yes...but there's something you want to do with that. Just for us....because you can.
TheStobo (8:08:02 PM): ...Just for us? Is it washing dishes?
AriaMuse (8:08:04 PM): and it's tech. the last day of freedomishness.
TheStobo (8:08:05 PM): Or cleaning?
AriaMuse (8:08:05 PM): NO
AriaMuse (8:08:13 PM): it can create dishes....kinda
TheStobo (8:08:17 PM): ...Getting soda?
TheStobo (8:08:20 PM): I'm so lost.
AriaMuse (8:08:30 PM): you will want to get soda with this
AriaMuse (8:08:44 PM): _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
TheStobo (8:08:55 PM): AHHH HANGMAN BANE OF MY EXISTANCE

She made me play anyway.  

 AriaMuse (8:11:02 PM): C _ _ _ e s e F _ _ _ 
AriaMuse (8:11:13 PM): YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT 
AriaMuse (8:11:16 PM): YOU CAN FEEL IT
AriaMuse (8:11:20 PM): ITS IN YOUR MOUTH
AriaMuse (8:11:24 PM): ORAL SEX
TheStobo (8:11:31 PM): DO NOT WANT
AriaMuse (8:11:35 PM): I WANT IT
AriaMuse (8:11:47 PM): not ORAL sex...keep going you're still alive...
TheStobo (8:11:48 PM): OMG WHY ARE ALL OUR CONVERSATIONS TRAUMATIZING
AriaMuse (8:11:51 PM): dunno
AriaMuse (8:12:01 PM): C _ _ _ e s e F _ _ _ 
AriaMuse (8:12:38 PM): umm.. I dont' know a letter that takes that long to type. 
TheStobo (8:12:45 PM): D, I, E.  E, M, I, L, I, E.


TheStobo (8:13:48 PM): Chinese! Ha!
AriaMuse (8:13:51 PM): YEAH
AriaMuse (8:13:59 PM): Chinese what? 
TheStobo (8:14:07 PM): Hahahaha, I wiiiiiiiiiiin!
AriaMuse (8:14:08 PM): Not chinese style oral sex...I can tell you that much
TheStobo (8:14:11 PM): food.  
AriaMuse (8:14:13 PM): yes. 
TheStobo (8:14:15 PM): >.<
TheStobo (8:14:19 PM): Your mind, it kills.
AriaMuse (8:14:22 PM): congratulations...you may pass go and collect your chinese. 
TheStobo (8:15:12 PM): You know what, I think the answer to hangman games should always be velociraptor


She is now, as we speak, attempting to traumatize me into buying her Chinese food by playing horrific videos of people singing songs about my name.  Whyyyyyyy T_T?

No, I'm not dead. Yet.

I am, however, posting ridiculous pictures of me and my friends being ridiculous during our Halloween party. We dressed up as the Cullens. Notice how Bella is the only one not wearing black. I expected it of Rosalie (who is not pictured with blonde hair. Oops?), but I'm rather ashamed at Alice. It was a somber wedding, after which Edward cheated on Bella with every single girl in our all-girls dorm, including his sisters (adoptive sisters, which makes it okay), and Bella ran off to Vegas with Jesus and Flava Flav.

Don't judge us, okay?



And yes, we were wearing sparkle face paint.  Come on, like we could leave that out?  And I've decided that Edward's suit is the comfiest thing I have ever purchased ever, and I'm never taking it off.  The best part, of course, was that all four outfits?  Didn't cost us more than eighty dollars, I swear.  Wedding rings and all.

Dear LJ,

Happily, tonight was my first date in months. Less happily, it was with my seventy-year-old grandfather. Le sigh.

Ah well, I had fun. Ate waaaaay too much steak though.

Well, this is it folks.  I've been living in Germany for an entire year now, and on Friday, I'm on the plane back home.  Most people express discontent at my impending departure.  I find this rather startling. Personally, Friday took way too long to come. 

So, why is it that I am more than ready to put this place behind me, and yet they are sad to see me go?  Did I bring something vital to their lives that I haven't noticed?  Are they getting tax breaks for putting up with me?  Am I just that good of a conversationalist?

Doubtful.

After much deliberation, I decided that just maybe, Germany enjoys torturing me.  My pain is amusing for the people I surround myself with (this is nothing new) (also, end of the sentence preposition there.  I need to watch that).

Because I don't have anything more fascinating to do, I believe I'll make a list of all the reasons why Germany hates me.

1. Germany has adopted the German language, which by its very nature causes me pain.  You just enjoy your time, thirty-letter-long words, and you as well, convoulted word order, and especially you, sentences that can go on for paragraphs without a verb in sight.  When I take over, I will choke on my glee as I demolish you. (See Mark Twain's brillaint essay - The Awful German Language)
2. I've injured myself twice - one twisted foot, and one fall down two flights of stairs.  I've gotten horribly sick three times and had to rely heavily on medication every single time.  In one year.  I don't think I've been this unhealthy in my entire life combined.  (Does that sentence even make sense?  I blame the meds)
3. My laptop has broken.  Three times.  Well, alright, that's unfair.  The third time it was the power cable that died, and I probably shouldn't have left it on the windowsill to get rained on.  But still.
4. The weather is horribly unpredictable.  Forty degrees and rainy one day, eighty and full sun the next.  Muggy and foggy in the morning, with no respite from the wind in the afternoon.  We got like, four flakes of snow this winter.  And that was in October. 
   
5. Everyone is unnaturally kind.  Everyone offers to help me with my German or asks me if I'm alright and strangers smile at me on the bus!  It's just weird.  Stop it!
6. I dislike Euros.  Coins are for amounts less than a dollar.  Bills are for amounts more than a dollar.  I don't care what you have to say in your defense.
7. The computer keyboards are even different!  Argh!  How am I supposed to type like this?  Stop cramping my style!

So there you go.  Seven complaints for twelve months, not that bad.  But bad enough that I'm gone. 

...I'm considering LJ-cutting this. But I don't want to bother thinking up a witty tagline, so I'm not gunna.

I suddenly have a whole new respect for pulished authors. I have never before written and typed up a serious original story, until now. I'm not even done typing up the whole first chapter and I am exhausted. As soon as I get it finished, it'll be showing up here. Don't worry. Not that you were.

Attention!!!! It has come to my attention that my psuedonym is retarded. So, from here on out, I am Reilly Tross. This is all.

Because I can. Besides, I honestly doubt anyone's going to actually read this, other than myself. *grumbles* 

Cough cough, I have no idea what I'm doing but I am listening to Nickelback's 'Animals' so, whatever. I really should be doing...other stuff. But I'm not. Ah well, this is important too.