SO, the Roommate is ill.  Bronchitus and some sort of infection - I swear, she doesn't do anything by halves.  Anyway, because I have to interpret all the oddities of my life as disease (Once, when I was like, seven, I decided that I was actually a split personality and my alter ego was anorexic.  I guess because I wasn't hungry?  idek), I've decided that her sickness clearly means that I am dieing.

Okay, so I don't feel sick.  Or dead.  But I am bizarrely tired (not so bizarrely - I only slept like six hours last night and the night before) and I have sporadic torrents of blood rushing from my nose and.  Um.  My feet are turning yellow.  

What kind of retarded disease would that be?  Who even knows.  But obviously, the only cure is comfort ice cream and tv.

If I do end up dieing, you're all getting letters from justincaseidie.com, and I regret nothing. 

Seriously, I am totally more interesting that any cop drama or soap opera or reality "watch idiots be idiotic" show.  And if I'm not, I could totally lie my ass off to millions of people and not lose a wink of sleep.  Just FYI Hollywood producers.

So, an update in the life of me, handily bullet pointed for your convienence:

• While I had previously assumed Computer Sciences would be complicated and fly right over my head, like all my other classes this semester, it is actually tons of fun.  HTML makes my heart beat a little faster.  Maybe I should change my career path somewhat - I'll be an alien-crime-fighting, flute-playing, literary genius Astrobiologist/Physicist who uses MATH to solve PROBLEMS for the FBI, can sharpshoot and write computer programs.  That's a totally legitimate career path, right?  
• I had also assumed Comparative Vertebrate Anatomy would be complicated and fly right over my head, but it turns out that not only is that true, but it spontaneously spouted a rocket pack that utalizes anti-matter to reach speed-of-light velocity and has already set up an advanced civilization of eukaryotes on Gliese 581 d.  An advanced civilization called "Let's Screw Coco's GPA".  
• On the upside, we dissected the shit out of some shit in the very first lab, which almost makes up for speaking entirely in words I don't know.
• The Internet in the dorm hates us.  And by us, I mean me, and by hates, I mean Internet totally gave "Let's Screw Coco's GPA" H-bombs.
• My nose keeps randomly spurting blood.  It's as if my cranial cavity decided "DANGER DANGER MUST EVACUATE ALL BLOOD STAT".  
• OH SHI- I broke the pattern.  Um um um.  I should finish up  with two good things about my life and then go watch Fringe with the Roommate to make up for it.
• Speaking of the Roommate, I recently found out she has a LJ too!  But she hasn't mentioned me yet, at all.  You should go harrass her about it at noblepeg.
• I have an autographed picture of Chad Micheal Murray, and he doesn't even look completely like a hooker.  Just mostly like one.
   

So.  It's facts-you-never-wanted-to-know-about-me time!  Aren't you excited?

Fact one: I am physically incapable to watching people on TV being embarrassed.  I have an embarrassment squick.  Sometimes, I even have to turn off the news because I feel sympathy!humiliation for the idiots being arrested.  I've never been able to finish Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, because Harry was acting like a retard and it made me embarrassed for him.  THEREFORE,

Fact two: I miss out on a lot of TV that I would like to watch but cannot.  Like House, or One Tree Hill (shut up, I have a horrible crush on CMM), or Dexter, or hell.  If I could get through an episode of my little sister's "Yo Gabba Gabba" without cringing or having to leave the room, I'd be a happy woman.  HOWEVER, 

Fact three: I do watch Supernatural.  I can watch Sam and Dean and Ruby and not feel desperate to REACH THROUGH THE SCREEN AND SHAKE THEM UNTIL THEY STOP BEING STUPID for the simple reason that the Roommate is far more obsessed than I, and forces me to sit down and watch.  

I don't know why that makes it easier to bear.  Something about having my six-page Genetics essay held ransom in front of the shredder makes my anxiety for fictional characters less important, I suppose.  

Now if only the Roommate was as dedicated to watching all the other shows I can't watch.

ETA: Roommate is now no longer dedicated to Supernatural.  Why, Roommate, why?  I have a desperate NEED to know what is going on with those crazy characters.  

I have long hated Missouri. My state is ugly, trashed. There are no interesting places to go except the St. Louis Arch, and really, how many times can you visit that before you want to stab someone? We're in the middle of the Bible Belt AND we're a mostly Republican state. The school systems either suck, or cost so much you'd have to sell your soul to Bill Gates to pay for them. Also? No interesting job opportunities unless you want to work in a cubicle.

But mostly, I just hate Missouri because it's so damn hot in the summer.

-is fucking melting-