So you see this car?  



This is a Mercedes S-Class 550 Sedan, and it is a very nice car.  Very, very nice.  It starts at about $91,225.  That's the same price as this house, right here.



It's a very nice car. A very nice car that I just tried to carjack outside a Barnes and Noble.

(I'm so very sorry sir.  Your car is beautiful, and I apologize that I'm car-illiterate and mistook it for my piece-of-crap Audi.  Please don't press charges - I wouldn't last long in prison, for I have no upper body strength and the confidence of a spooked armadillo.)

Oh dear sweet baby Jesus, there is FIVE TO SIX INCHES of snow outside of my window.  FIVE to SIX inches.  And it is February.  I don't know if I can handle this madness.  The last time I saw real snow, it was two and a half years ago.  I don't have a coat.  SNOW.  

Oh shit.  I have to drive in this ridiculousness tomorrow.  

***

It was my birthday party today.  I got pretty pretty presents.  One was a St. Jude pendant that is the exact same length as my cross, so I am going to the mall tomorrow to get my cross chain shortened.  

I also got a t-shirt that says "Haikus are easy / But sometimes don't make much sense /  Hippopotamus".  I had to explain to everyone what a haiku was, which was tragic and more ridiculous than the snow (SNOW!), because seriously?  You don't know what a haiku is?  ...Seriously? 

AND I got a bag that says "Leave now, before I shed my human skin and eat you."  It is very appropriate, and I'm going to take it everywhere.  

***

I applied for an internship at my Daddy's company.  My online password is nepotism, and they will pay me nineteen dollars an hour if I get it.  This is exciting.  

Less exciting was the realization that after I get done SELLING MY SOUL for good grades, I will have to work forty-hour-work-weeks all summer, so that I can afford to go to Peru next summer, and grad school after that.  

Damn you, real life.  Quit messing with my pool time.