Dear my dearest, darling little brother,

I would be fine if you were gay.  I would even be alright if you proclaimed you were transexual.  If you suddenly announced that you were moving to Tahiti to be a panhandler with your Hell's Angel girlfriend, I would not stutter in surprise.

But pleaseto be keeping your UNEXPECTED BUSH SUPPORTER IS UNEXPECTED thoughts to yourself.  They will cause me to walk into the wall.

All my love, 
Your newly concussed sister

I was a little confused why you seemed to think light controlled time, and that going through a black hole would send you back in time. I've taken a great many Physics and Astronomy courses, so I was pretty certain going through a black hole would just get you ripped into individual atoms. I am always up for intellectual debate though, and because no one really knows what goes on in a black hole, I thought we'd have a good discussion.

I did not expect to be told that I was obviously crazy, or lying, or both, and that I should be ashamed for shunning the "spirit". That same Spirit who possessed you several times, and apparently knows everything that I know, only better.

As convincing as your derogatory rants and incoherent babbling were, I'm afraid I'm going to have to vote no on letting you into my program. No matter how much you insist that "of course light controls time, otherwise, why would we use sundials?", it will not change the fact that you are immature.

Take a chill pill, and relax. Debate does not mean scream insults at the other person. Come back to college when you can accept that.

All my love,
Fred

P.S.- We tell time with sundials because the sun moves, and casts shadows in different places, depending on what time of day it is, darling. Not because the light is somehow changing time. I don't even know how that would work.

I was forced to watch Transamerica earlier tonight. I cried like a baby, and then some.

It distresses me that I cannot find fic for this movie. You can't leave me hanging here! I have a genuine, medical NEED for something cute and fluffy (and possibly involving recreational drug use/talking about the Horrors Of The Past, I am not picky). I need something to offset the pain of this movie's end.

I also would maybe like to see Bree/Toby fic. LOOK, I NEVER CLAIMED I WAS STABLE, OKAY?

So you see this car?  



This is a Mercedes S-Class 550 Sedan, and it is a very nice car.  Very, very nice.  It starts at about $91,225.  That's the same price as this house, right here.



It's a very nice car. A very nice car that I just tried to carjack outside a Barnes and Noble.

(I'm so very sorry sir.  Your car is beautiful, and I apologize that I'm car-illiterate and mistook it for my piece-of-crap Audi.  Please don't press charges - I wouldn't last long in prison, for I have no upper body strength and the confidence of a spooked armadillo.)

So.  It's facts-you-never-wanted-to-know-about-me time!  Aren't you excited?

Fact one: I am physically incapable to watching people on TV being embarrassed.  I have an embarrassment squick.  Sometimes, I even have to turn off the news because I feel sympathy!humiliation for the idiots being arrested.  I've never been able to finish Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, because Harry was acting like a retard and it made me embarrassed for him.  THEREFORE,

Fact two: I miss out on a lot of TV that I would like to watch but cannot.  Like House, or One Tree Hill (shut up, I have a horrible crush on CMM), or Dexter, or hell.  If I could get through an episode of my little sister's "Yo Gabba Gabba" without cringing or having to leave the room, I'd be a happy woman.  HOWEVER, 

Fact three: I do watch Supernatural.  I can watch Sam and Dean and Ruby and not feel desperate to REACH THROUGH THE SCREEN AND SHAKE THEM UNTIL THEY STOP BEING STUPID for the simple reason that the Roommate is far more obsessed than I, and forces me to sit down and watch.  

I don't know why that makes it easier to bear.  Something about having my six-page Genetics essay held ransom in front of the shredder makes my anxiety for fictional characters less important, I suppose.  

Now if only the Roommate was as dedicated to watching all the other shows I can't watch.

ETA: Roommate is now no longer dedicated to Supernatural.  Why, Roommate, why?  I have a desperate NEED to know what is going on with those crazy characters.